Earlier in the year I attended a neoclassical goth forum at the casino titled 'Sustainability and spiderwebs: the future directions of dark wave and death rock'. Discourses around sustainability routinely focus on the environment iow how many trees Toyota can replant to supplement the pulp consumed by middle managers printing The Lonely Planet's Guide to the Maldives in full? But broadly blogging, sustainability is a plan for the future. As I listened to a range of batcavers speak, it got me thinking that sustainability in the context of gothic fashions must mean stark styles that transcend death. Goths are inevitably mortal but must their attire be subject to the same transitory condition?
I've since spent the past summer burying pigs in the garden. Although I am a meat minimiser and strongly value the contribution and intelligence of farm boars, I have dressed and disposed 18 pigs. I'm testing the durability of highly morbid, eroticised gothic fashions to identify the most viable and vampy fabric to allow goths to rest in peace, free of rotting styles. It's genuine coffin care! I'll be digging up these morbid bodies periodically to understand the strengths and weaknesses of the various noir nylon blends and will provide a detailed report of the results on a goth forum. Who would have imagined that visiting the riverside money morgue would lead to such business prospects and a $100 downpayment to reserve the domain name gravegarments.com? It's another reminder that good things come to those who blog modern rubbish bi-annually.
Please note, pentacles and crux ansatas are excluded from the scope of my research - in a bizarre college ritual, dozens of teenagers once dug up the remains of a campus goth to find the badly decomposed corpse still dressed in its neopagan metal neck chain. Alas I'm confident these starry symbols- already synonymous with strength and eternal protection- are keeping goths appropriately accessorised, from cradle to grave.
In closing I leave you with a very relevant and effective message delivered by our leader Robot Chicken on an annual leave day. Check it out here:
Friday, January 27, 2012
Hey what's up? I've had 142 hits in three years. I'm sure you've got less important things to read but hey sup read on cause this is the fashion issue !!!! Here's a letter I wrote to my favourite couture emporium Forrester Creations.
First off thanks heaps for the mod designs they r so glam and quite different to what I’ve seen in the mall. I want to get heaps of stuff but just wondering if the black goth tractor platforms can be made in synthetic fabric because I don’t wear leather and all your produce seems to be authentic/organic bovine covers. Your stuff is really sik and omg I'd take my grandma to the Sizzler buffet if I had that fringed mickey mouse suit !!!!
What's your opinion on Rove’s transfer to L.A and what accessory trends do you forecast for Libya this season??
Sincerely flawed, m goth
No problem if u can’t personalise the highrise boots for me but I can’t find shoes anywhere and once gothgurl09's cousin lost his shoes at Falls and wore tissue boxes for three days but it doesn’t work in wet weather or if u want to get into a club for free.
What designers does Victoria Beckham wear?
This is general purpose fashion knowledge. Good starting point if you're a dead beat or the mayor of Colac and hencetherefore too flat out to catch up on trends/hot looks.
Dogs beat the chill in haute couture
Gives more of a wordly perspective and more domestic homely orientated at the same time, really toffy / couture
Eye on fashion - fan of the month
Auzzie Marcus Richa proudly takes this month's prize for biggest Bold & Beautiful fan. Check out his fun letter and prepare for envy at his star pics with Donna Logan-Forrester, she's exquisite.